Quotes

This page is intended for those of you who like quips, quotes and witticisms. Which I myself like them all. I am trying to categorize them as I go so please forgive the current hap hazard listings. If you have a quote you think needs added to this list post it to the forum or e-mail me.

 

Click Here for a Random Quote!

---

Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching.

---

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow." - James Dean

"Reality can be beaten with enough imagination." - Anon.

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

"If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?" - Albert Einstein

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." - Mark Twain

"Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards."

"The secret of happiness is understanding that friendship is more precious than mere things, more precious than getting one's own way, more precious than being right in situations where true principles are not at stake." -
J. Donald Walters

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything...

---

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."

"Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."

When asked by a reporter why it's so tough to play left field in Yankee Stadium, Yogi said: "Because it gets late early."

"If the people don't want to come out to the park, nobody's gonna stop them."

"It ain't over till it's over."

"It's deja vu all over again."

"No wonder nobody comes here; it's too crowded."

"We have very deep depth!"

"We made too many wrong mistakes."

"You can observe a lot by just watching."

When the wife of the mayor of New York told Yogi that he looked cool, despite the heat, he said:

"You don't look so hot, either."

---

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go by.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like a parachute. If they aren't there the first time you need them,

chances are you won't be needing them again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

---

" Man who run in front of car, get tired"

"Man who run behind car, get exhausted"

"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there"

"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left"

"Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out"

"Man who sit on tack get point"

"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"

"Man who fart in church sit in own pew"

---

There are no menial jobs, just menial attitudes.

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys

"He who lives in a glass house should change in the basement."

"If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?"

"Doing what you like is freedom, Liking what you do is happiness"

"To learn how to think with your heart, think with your mind and then compromise the best answer for your soul." - Jason Lawrence Shaw

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."

"For the believer there are no questions and for the unbeliever there are no answers." - Menachem Mendel (19th C rabbi)

"To learn how to think with your heart, think with your mind and then compromise the best answer for your soul." - Jason Lawrence Shaw

"Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats." - Howard Aiken

"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it." - John W. Raper

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."

"Every man is a fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit." - Elbert Hubbard

"Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." - Napoleon

"If quiters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool that first said 'Quit while you are ahead?'

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing

"This is not environmentalists and animal activists trying to make trouble. This is our planet and if we don't start paying attention and doing something about it, it's going to be too late."

"Any fool can condemn others and most fools do."

"Having some people as enemies is a compliment."

"A path without obstacles probably leads nowhere."

"Something in life will capture your eye. Others will capture your heart...pursue those." -- Ultimate Steps In Life

"One cloud is enough, to eclipse all the sun..." - Thomas Fuller

"It is easy to be brave from a safe distance." - Aesop's Fables

"A liar will not be believed, even when he is telling the truth." - Aesop's Fables

"Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts."

"Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land will again experience the oppression of one by another." - Nelson Mandela, South African President, Inaugural Speech as president of South Africa, May 1994

"Speak well of your enemies. Remember you made them."

"In literature as in life, to conform to anything is to knuckle under to your inferiors." - Kenneth Patchen

"It is the friends you can call up at 4am that matter."

"Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say is what counts." - Margaret Runbeck
 
 

"Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel." - Horace Walpole

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us." - Epicurus

"One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man." - Marlo Thomas

"We are punished by our sins, not for them." - Elbert Hubbard

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."

"If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still foolish."

"If the human brain was simple enough for us to understand, we'd be so simple we couldn't."

"Failures are divided into two classes -- those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought." - John Charles Salak

"You see things and you say 'Why?'; but I dream things that never were and I say 'Why not?' - George Bernard Shaw

"The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not and never persist in trying to set people right." - Hannah Whitall Smith

"Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity." - Karl Marx

"Live simply so that others may simply live."

"Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects."

"Freedom, after all, is simply being able to live with the consequences of your decisions." - James X. Mullen

"The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places." - Samuel Butler

"You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom." - Malcolm X

"Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." - Elbert Hubbard

"After I'm dead, I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one." - Cato the Elder

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends."

"Advice is worth what it cost - that is, nothing." - Douglas MacArthur

"If we see ourselves as others see us, we might never come back for a second look."

"Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow." - Don Herold

"The best way to get praise is to die." - Italian Proverb

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

"It takes about 10 years to get used to how old you are."

"Most criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."

"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

"A great many people mistake opinions for thoughts." - Herbert V. Prochnow

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else." - Will Rogers

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on." -- Samuel Goldwyn

"Take it from me, marriage isn't a word....it's a sentence!" -King Vidor

"You know by the time you've reached my age you've made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly." - Ronald Reagan

"Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation or creed." - Bertrand Russell

"The Good Lord never gives you more than you can handle, unless you die of something."

"Why is it we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved." - Mark Twain

"There is no money in poetry, but then, there is no poetry in money either." - Robert Greaves

"The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything." - Goethe

"The man who doesn't read books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." - Mark Twain

"It is well known that most people don't listen. They use the time when someone else is speaking to think of what they're going to say next." - Terry Pratchett, 'Pyramids'

"If I have seen further, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants." - Sir Isaac Newton

"Talent is a measure of other people's opinion of you."

"I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be." - Abraham Lincoln

"There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all." - Oscar Wilde

"A fool often fails because he thinks what is difficult is easy, and a wise man because what he thinks is easy is difficult." - Churton Collins

"The search for happiness is the chief source of unhappiness." - Eric Hoffer

"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over." - Edna St. Vincent Millay

"Doing easily what others find difficult is talent, doing what is impossible for talent is genius." - Henri-Frederic Amiel

"What is love? Two souls and one flesh; friendship? Two bodies and one soul." - Joseph Roux

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." -- Benjamin Franklin

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."

"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it." -- Oscar Wilde

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."

"Happiness isn't getting what you want; it's wanting what you get." -- Garth Brooks

"Those who are dancers are considered insane by fools who can't hear the music."

"ANYTHING is easy when you don't have to do it yourself."

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." -- Oscar Wilde

"Those who have mastered etiquette and are entirely impeccably right, arrive at a point of exquisite dullness."

"Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not
involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons." -- Will Cuppy

"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." -- Jerome K. Jerome